I am a 38 year old wife of a marriage of 17 years and a mother of 1.5 years. Numbers…. they state something factual but don’t give weight to the emotions behind those number of years.
I come from a poor background. My great grandparents came from Mexico and an old age and died here in the U.S. My grandparents and parents were born here and thus I am Hispanic. But their journeys didn’t save us from poverty, struggles, alcoholism, domestic violence, jail, prison amoung other things. Yet I remember a fairly happy childhood regardless of all of that I witnessed. My parents eventually got us out of the poor neighborhoods and thru hard work we didn’t wonder about eating about the time I was 19 or so. They worked hard but thru it all they loved us with ALL they had….no money could get us that. Thank you Mom & Dad!
I married at the age of 21 to a wonderful, gentle, kind, determined young man. He is the biggest dreamer I know. I had NO dreams when I met him…so he let me borrow some of the dream gene from him. Once I got the bug, it ate at me and I pressed on to make my own dream. Problem was I didn’t know what that dream was…or so I thought I didn’t know…but God works like that in one’s life.
I am trying to type as fast as I can as the words in my mind are pushing thru my pores and are screaming to jump on my screen. Patience words, you will get your chance.
So my husband, Andra’ helped me to get that twinkle in my eyes, he helped me to want more…after years of just wanting to have food on the table and hot water I didn’t think to dream past that or feared if I did I might not get it…and that terrified the little girl in me and the woman I was becoming. I often fought dreaming…it was like standing close to a hot meal and then someone saying “no you don’t have enough money, get out!” That is scary when you have felt hunger and cold, and moved a lot to find shelter. It is a pain that always stays with you. To this day, I can’t have an empty fridge…it brings stress into my heart. Tears flowing now but I am determined to get this out of me and on the screen as it so begs to be told. I have to have backup food to the present food…backup toilet paper, trash bags, eggs, bananas….you name it…I have to know there is a lot or I am going to the store to get the backup for it. It took hubby some time to get why I do it and he understands it now. I never knew it affected me like it did.
I knew early on I couldn’t have kids. I just knew…people ask me how but I kind of always knew even before I began wanting kids. I still tried but nothing came of it…my husband was adamant he wanted our future children to have a house and that we had careers…well that took time. Yet another dream he placed on my heart and we got our first home in 2005! Here was a person, me, who knew my parents always rented when they could or we stayed with family members to make it thru…and now I had a mortgage…I don’t complain about having a mortgage…it is a blessing!
We then began the adoption process…and once again GOD showed off and my secret inner dream of having a little girl (hubby wanted an older boy) came to pass with a darling two year who entered our hearts and home in Jan. of 08′! That has been a ride…while we still wait to adopt her we are so close to the finish line! We hope that our Christmas present will be her! I couldn’t ask for a more precious gift.
Now back to the dream I didn’t think I had or so I did but it hadn’t screamed at me as God knows I am hard of hearing. Sorry Lord but His timing is perfect! Slowly starting in about 2005 as a matter of fact the Lord started setting this car in motion! One trickle in the pond to a boulder in the ocean as I look back now and see His hand at work in my life….it is awe inspiring! I heard Him loud and clear that He was calling me to teach. I was terrified but enrolled into LeTourneau University and began a grueling schedule of wife, mother, student and worker. At times, I cried from fatigue and wondered if I would get thru it. But the Lord carried me to my graduation Dec. of 2008! I then took my exams and was soon certified but no job. So I took some advice from my mentor teacher, Mrs. R., and did substitute work. She was so right that I would learn so much and it prepared me more than I could have hoped for. So I pretty much worked every day of the past school year and left on the last day of school crying but with so much in my heart that I am glad I had experienced it.
The summer thus brought the tedious task of trying to get hired. I was going to job fairs, applying online almost every day, checking for openings late nights as I couldn’t sleep as I waited for God to lead me to my new home. It was difficult many nights I cried because I feared I would not get hired and help support my family or I would have to sub again for another year and hubby was working two jobs to help keep us afloat while I went thru this career change. I can never repay his dedication to helping me with my dream. Thank you huney! God gave me the BEST gift when He sent me you!
Present day-July 14, 2009 I had an interview with a principal I had worked with for most of the year and three other individuals for a kindergarten position at a new school opening up in my district. I left feeling good but at peace because when I walked out the doors of that school I placed it with God and left it in His hands. I remember saying if I didn’t get it that was okay because I got the experience of interviewing and every little bit helps. I drove home and cried and prayed and grab some breakfast as I didn’t eat at home because my tummy was revolting from the nerves and I don’t think the food would have stayed in place. 
So I got home not expecting word till the next day so I jumped into some pj’s and wanted to sleep because I literally wasn’t sleeping from my nerves and running interview questions thru my head! So suddenly I was free from all of it because I had done the interview and there was nothing left for me to do…I had placed my head down, gave my hubby a hug and kiss and off to sleep I went. I had my cell on vibrate just in case. In a matter of minutes it was ringing and I recognized the number as the school number and I thought wow here comes the news.
I leaped out of bed and ran into the living room as hubby was falling fast asleep and if I didn’t get the job I didn’t want him to hear me balling. It was the principal and I thought at first “wow it is sweet he is going to personally turn me down because he knew me.” But he offered me the job. He doesn’t know this but I was jumping up and down and had a smile so big that someone should have taken a picture of me. PURE JOY! So after some formalities of some stuff I needed to do for him, I hung up and ran to my husband and hugged him. Speechless! I let him go back to sleep and came into the kitchen and sat and cried and cried. Later I called and texted some close friends of mine of the great news. I have cried off and on today because I know GOD was all over this. I know He still works in people’s lives including mine.
I am now a kindergarten teacher for a wonderful school, principal and team of colleagues. I have a classroom….I know my husband dislikes this word…so sorry hun but I can’t find another one to fit it for me….it is so SURREAL to me. Soon I will be in the process of setting up my first room for the first time…I am going to have so many new “firsts” at this age! I am blessed!
All day I would tease my husband and say “hey my PRINCIPAL emailed me.” I can say that now…my principal, my school, my team. Tears again…okay I hope that doesn’t happen in front of others…they might think I am losing it. But it is the joy that God gives me and it overflows and seeps out of my eyes!
Keep your millions…because in blessings I have trillions! Jesus is ALIVE and well in me! Thank you Lord, God, Omega, Beginning and the End, Creator of all things, Heaven and Earth, Saviour, Sovereign One, and my Lord Jesus!
Believe!