June 5th was early release day and I was anxious to get to school to have as much time there as possible. I was dreading it as well. This would be my last first “last day of school”. I would never have this experience again. I was curious of what it would be like. Would I cry, ball or be dry eyed? I felt the anticipation as the week passed us by and we all began to pack up and wind down the lesson plans and start to tell the kids things like “enjoy your summer vacation”!
I had sub in this one school 99% of my first year teaching. I did my student teaching there and almost all of my sub work. I was SO attached. I knew it. I had sub at the PPCD, K, 1st, 3rd, 5th. Almost all the students knew me by name when I walked down the hallways. So I had an inkling of what torture my heart would be put threw….the ringer!
The day began to wind down and we all felt our heart strings being pulled…we would miss each other as well as the kids. This school has a tradition of having the 5th graders walk all the hallways the last 10 minutes of the day high-fiving the younger grades which they called the “Walk of Fame” as they would move on to 6th graders. They played “We are the Champions” over the intercom. The 5th graders led us to the buses…they passed my room and some were strong while others visibly balled their eyes out and didn’t hold back. I understood the emotions they were going thru. This school has kids that have been there since their kindergarten year and this was the only home they knew….and now they were being forced to leave it.
I teared up for them. I cry recalling that vivid memory in my mind. Next we began to head to the buses after all the 5th graders had boarded. I waited by the exit doors as I was working with the younger students (3 – 4 years old) which requires a special bus and being hand held to the bus. Well while we waited for our bus my 3rd graders from my student teaching time come thru those doors balling. They ran to me and cried and held on tight. I just fell out! I began to ball with them but tried to hold on strong. They will always hold a special place in my heart. They will always be my first students. I can never forget them even if I tried.
They were beautiful, strong, smart, dedicated, well-mannered, passionate, sweet, wonderful, fantastic, joyful, tender kids! I miss them already! After they passed me….my kindergarten kids came as well and I just about couldn’t take anymore.
I had to step away from my younger ones and get myself together. Our bus arrived and I said bye once again. You don’t learn this in class to hold on to your heart by gripping your chest because these kids are going to try and snatch it with the love they give. My heart just about did that….I then walked to the front where all the teachers line up and wave off the buses. That was the last I saw of them. You have to learn as a teacher you may not ever see them again. You get these 9 months with them and then poof…GONE! It is so hard on your heart.
I said bye to the teachers who made such an impact on me. I will mention them by initials:
Mrs. L. R. You are the BEST!!!
Mrs. J. H. Your kindness is like no other.
Ms. D. W. Your strength is admirable
Mr. G. M. You were the friend I needed for this journey I took…Thanks!
Ms. L. J. You showed me the other side to it all with love and grace.
Mrs. B. N. You showed me we all count and should be treated equally.
Mrs. S. W. You always made me feel like family.
Mrs. A. L. aka A. J. You gave me the greatest gift of having faith in me and giving me your class every afternoon. I am eternally grateful. Kiss the baby for me. I was so sad we didn’t get to say bye. Miss you already.
I got in my truck and looked in my rearview mirror and watched the school become tiny. That is when the tears that were left behind decided to come out of the flood gates. I balled for the next 15 minutes to get me home. I cried and cried. I became so attached to the most beautiful school I think I will ever have known from 2008 – 2009. Thank you all! The Lord blessed me with the best first year of teaching! Thank you Jesus!
Missing you all,
Me