May 22, 2009 in the mid evening my sister got married. I was her matron of honor and it was indeed an honor. I cried during the ceremony which my husband performed for the happy couple and that night she moved out into her new apt. with her husband. I was too tired to let it affect me being we danced all night long and my body was yelling at me for thinking I was 19 again.
As the days have passed, I find I miss her more and more. I knew it would affect me but I wasn’t sure how and to what degree for that matter. I never took her for granted and was grateful for all the laughs, late nite talks and sitting on Monday nights watching the Bachelor. So I knew it was precious but I still miss it. I am more like her mother than sister so I think that makes it more difficult on me.
I have called her everyday since she left except for today. I want to try and give her the space she needs to get into her groove of her new life and journey….even as I type this I want to dial her number and check if she has done everything to prepare for work as she is coming off her week long vacation. I know I have served her to the best of my abilities and have given her all the advice and wisdom I have to offer her that will make her a great wife. I just have to let go and trust.
But the sister in me misses her and wishes she was in my back room so I can go in there and hang out with her. There is positives to her leaving….the back room I have started to convert to a play room for munchkin. She loves it and spends hours on end in that room playing more than she did in her own room. We tell her she can go and play in her “play room” and she runs to it with great anticipation. I am shopping around for play furniture/applicances for her to have before summer comes around as both her and I will be off for the summer.
So there is an upside to it and I know it is for the best but I feel like a piece of me is gone…I wonder if this is a glimpse of how I will feel when I have to let munchkin go when she is all grown up…I sure hope not.
Here is a picture from her wedding…you can vividly see how in love and happy she is….Enjoy.
It is a close to 6 a.m. and I should be asleep but there is a song that has pierced my soul and whenever I happen to wake up in the middle of the night I go to my laptop that is sleeping plainly in the night and awake it so it can play that sweet melody of song to my heart. The song is Book of Lovesung by Peter Gabriel (btw it is playing while I type this over and over again.)
TV has such a dreary look to it these days. It rarely adds to your life in a positive way or is a glimpse of what it once looked like in its early years till I saw this final episode of Scrubs. It sparked so much in me that if TV was always like this I would let it sit in my living room every night and play a part in our lives. Watch the video and I dare you not to let it in.
It has been a couple of days since I was blessed by it and I have played it over and over thanks to youtube.com and now the song moves me in a different way. A new level if you will. It makes me think of my husband and daughter. Friday morning before heading to work I was sitting in front of my laptop my husband to my left and my daughter walks in rubbing her eyes and sits on my lap just as I am about to play the video. I click the black play button on the screen and for the next 4 minutes in complete silence we watch the video and I am in awe that I am even more blessed because these few minutes are now wrapping itself around my family one morning and I can see it affect us. It was a wonderful moment that I will always cherish and is what life should be made of. My child after it stopped playing turned to me and whispered “Mommy I like that song.” Even at 3 she could tell it was nice and gentle to her soul. The Lord is so good to give us these rich moments. Thank you Jesus!
So I hope you all enjoyed it and the glimpse into love…May the Lord bless you with love in your life.
