That’s What I’m Here For

Today was not one of my better ones but that was bound to happen. I went a few rounds of boxing in my head and I don’t know who won in the end. First, I was late…my little munchkin decided that her bed looked like her potty but only while she slept…so that threw me really behind. If I were a real teacher I would have been late to my own class…so I beat myself up a few rounds for that but tried to get my mindset “RITE”. For those who know me, know what I mean by that.

The librarian today finished telling the kids about the 2008-2009 Bluebonnet Master list of books and I just found it so interesting. One I don’t recall ever hearing about these books in my school life and second I actually want to read these books. I strongly encourage you to read them to your kids as they are quite interesting. Here is the link for you all: Texas Bluebonnet Master Books for 2008-2009

Today we had the students do an acrostic poem using their names. They also had to accompany the poem with a self portrait. There was one done by one of the boys and I swear it made my heart skip a beat and feel so warm all over because it was just the cutest self portrait I ever saw. See it below…I think it could be a character in a book..don’t you?

I actually turned down doing something in the class today…I swear I think fatigue got the best of my brain today. I felt so foggy and drained. I had class late last nite and getting up this morning was quite a feat in itself. Later on the day I was making errors and getting a lot of the students names incorrect. No excuse I know but it definitely affected.

The GREAT thing is that God says joy will come in the morning…so LORD rain some JOY on me please!

Be blessed,

Me

Today I had a feeling that both surprised me and floored me.  My day started like most of the days of just getting the routine going. Today also was were the staff and teachers wear a shirt representing their university. It was such a pleasure to wear mine and it meant so much to me in regards to this long journey I have been on that God placed me and to see the end of the tunnel. While I don’t know the outcome for employment for myself, I am trusting that He is already involved and putting those doors in front of me to open and closing the ones I don’t need to enter. I just hope I open the correct ones that please Him.

So I am doing more and more as each day passes. I like it that this is done in baby steps because it keeps my anxiety level down to a manageable and breathable level. Breath….

Today I was asked to work with a couple of special needs students while the class worked on something else. As always, my response has been “yes” verbally but inside I swear I am screaming and freaking out. But as always I have taken something from it. I was concerned if I would be able to help them if they had a question and stumped me. Nerves I swear they are like mosquitos, you put one down only for another to fly near you and wisk voices in your ears. But I swatted at it and it left me alone long enough to get thru the activity. It brought me such joy to be able to work one on one with them and give them the resources they needed to accomplish yet another task before them.

My surprised feeling made me keenly aware of something today. I am going to grieve a heavy loss. Allow me to backtrack what brought me to this realization. My mentor teacher and I were going thru my class schedule to make sure I meet the requirements of what I am suppose to perform during these 12 weeks. We looked at future months to make sure it is planned at optimal times. She flipped to the month of December and was estimating when I will finish and in my mind it felt like it would be here in no time and it probably will.

I am trying not to cry at this moment…you see I am attached. I am attached to the principal, staff, 3rd grade teachers, and especially the kids. It hit me so hard I turned away from her for just a moment to get myself together. I have to leave all of them and never for the most part be in their lives anymore. This is so heart wrenching for me. I won’t get to laugh in the hall ways with the teachers or talk under the tree that provides us so much shade during recess and collaborate with them on lessons etc. They didn’t tell me this in my orientation at the university. I wasn’t prepared to feel this or think this so soon. It sincerely didn’t cross my mind.

I know 40+ names of these kids and I am getting to know their history, backgrounds, likes, dislikes and how they learn and one day I have to part from all of this. It seems cruel to me but that could just be my emotions right now. I am going to try and enjoy each day with this lovely school family and let God handle my grieving when it gets here…because it is going to come for me. I swear I am just too emotional at times.

So my picture of Japanese Cherry Blossoms was selected to cheer me up. It didn’t work but I hope it made you feel peaceful. I am sure I will get thru it but it just seems so strange to me that I know I will miss them and yearn to be a part of their lives. I recall thinking how I thought 12 weeks was going to be so long …God works in mysterious ways because now I am thinking it is going to be way too brief…but a blink of my eye in my life.

Dear Lord, that I may never forget them and always watch over them as they do your work to mold the lives of those young minds and hearts.

Be blessed,

Me

Yay! Today was Friday at school. I can say I was exhausted today. But it was an eventful day as always. Today the children were more rambunctious more so than even I expected. But let’s start off with the first half of my day.

I am now responsible for lunch and attendance for the homeroom hour. My teacher had to leave the room for a quick moment to retrieve something from her vehicle so I had to watch the children. At first, I was just going to sit and make sure they behaved while she was away but then I thought no reason not to keep the day going, as by now I know the routine and just had to get over my nerves.

So I stood up and started the morning routine of lunch and attendance and directing the children to what my mentor teacher wanted them to do. When she returned she was impressed that I remembered how to get into the software without her help. It made me smile inside.

I also did my first read aloud. I was truly truly nervous. My hands shook a little but I was able to get that under control and my voice vibrated but again was able to get that under control.

I read

A Porcupine Named Fluffy by Helen Lester. I swear to you I love the illustrations in this book. I laughed honestly. I knew I was going to read this book to the children beforehand so I had taken the time to read it by myself before class resumed and I laughed out loud at the story and the illustrations.

So I think I did okay…not great but I got thru it. I learned a lot doing it. There is more to it than just reading out loud…the kids really enjoyed it as well.

So I believe I stated in Day Five about our recess being different because of the mosquitos…today was no different. My second half of the day was more difficult than usual. There were 4 students put on the list to miss recess and I put three of them there. I hated having to do it but there was just no way around it. What I love about this school is how serious they take character building and children learning how to make right choices. I am so in love with this program they have in place that is across all grades at this school.

I do have a funny note, one of the 3rd grade teachers we have is one of the only two male teachers we have…. (all of the girls love him dearly….they go so crazy for him) He is a wonderful teacher and such an inspiration to me because I hope to be just as effective as he is. He teaches Math and Science. Well I digress, anyways….he had recess duty while I had lunch duty.

So typically we watch the kids at lunch then him and one other teacher relieve us to go eat our lunch and they take the kids to recess. Well I bought my lunch today as I HONESTLY love cafeteria food! So the workers were kind enough to put my food aside while I finished my lunch duty and kept it warm. While I waited the 3rd grade teacher, we will call Mr. M, came in with his guitar. It seems if the kids are good he gives them a mini concert in the lunchroom. So I stayed for a few minutes while he belted out Proud Mary! He had those kids doing the wave, dancing and clapping.

Shoot I was dancing. It was a great time! The kids adore and respect him. I hope I can exhibit that one day.

I have adsorbed so much in these past days, no one can even comprehend let alone myself.

I am sitting at home in the quiet of the night and I miss it already. This is what it feels like to have such joy in the work you do. I plan on never giving it up!

Be blessed,

Me

Hello Everyone,

I couldn’t wait to get home and write this. Normally I write my journal entries at night after all is in bed and I have some quiet time to reflect and get my thoughts together. Well my thoughts are running wild with scissors in their hands from the day I have had today.

The kids came in all excited and talking amoungst themselves about the hurricane. Thankfully all of them made it back safely and I can honestly say I missed them so much and was so glad to be back at it.

There was very little academics today and more writing and talking about their feelings. The activities revolved around that and making sure all of them felt safe and tried to get routines back in place.

There were a few overzealous boys in the class that had to be put back on task time and again but hopefully in the coming days that will get all smoothed out. We were unable to have recess because of the large mosquito population so recess was watching movies. Which really seem to settle down the kids. I did have a new duty today: lunch duty. I just love how I get to learn all the ends and outs and not just the teaching stuff. And I rather enjoy it and look forward to all the different learning opportunities.

At the end of the day I got the best news ever! I was standing with my mentor teacher and the principle when another 3rd grade teacher walks up to us and the principle blurts out “I had an epiphany” to the other 3rd grade teacher. Cathy can be our sub for your room in November. I about fell out!! I was so thrilled and wanted to cry from the mere fact the principle already has faith in me to ask me to watch a whole class….and it is going to be for one whole day and half of another. It is in early November so I am a little terrified but I know or hope by then I will be ready for it. Please pray I am ready.

Be blessed,

Me

On today was a unique day without any students there and just teachers and admin. staff. I have always wanted to be in a school when the kids weren’t in it. We started off the day with a temp. power failure that had us all worried but it came back on and we all gave a sign of relief.

Next was a meeting in the cafetria in a large circle of blue chairs called by the principle. He mainly updated everyone on things such as power, damage, schedules etc. At one point, he stood up and said “We have a new member with us now, her name is….” I was looking around for this new member… IT WAS ME! I swear I think I must have turned beat red because I wasn’t expecting that but was so touch all at the same time.

Afterwards, we all went to eat Mexican and it was nice to hang out with all the teachers…I thought they were going to talk “shop” but they never did. Seems this group of teachers pretty much live down the street from each other and it is like they are a very tight nit family. Hope I can become family one day?

After we got back we did our planning time for the coming days and next week. Then was on to getting the rooms back in order and organizing some upcoming projects. I had wonder if time would fly by just as fast during a normal school day and it does because I look up and it is time to go. Wasn’t as exciting but I liked it nonetheless.
The kids come back tomorrow…lots are saying it will be like starting over from the first day of school…so it should be an experience and one I welcome!

Be Blessed,
Me

After many days of waiting we finally have the word that employees can return back to work. I can say I missed it but now I feel like I am starting over since I was only there for 3 days. The students won’t be there they come back the next day so it will be a learning experience to see how the school will go about getting back into the routine after such a long break. I know I am going to learn so much of how schools deal with natural disasters and getting students back into the mindset of coming back to school to learn. Our principal even stated in an email to us that in many ways it will be like the first day of school again.

Nonetheless, I am looking forward to learning as much as I can and getting back into it and taking on more responsibilities. Nervous too. biting my nails all week to just little nubs.

I went to my class last nite called Paul’s Prisons Letters. The instructor is one I have had several times. He is truly a gifted man in how he pierce’s thru you with God’s word. At the university I attend each class has prayer and devotion which I fondly look forward to but I especially welcome the devotion from this Bible instructor. He normally starts it at the start of class but last nite he did it at the very end. There was about 30 of us all packed up and sitting with cell phone and keys in hand when he plopped on his desk and sat there silently.

He waited for about 5 minutes till there was complete silence and he began to talk about a couple of stories in the Bible that were his favorite. Some classmates don’t care too much for him or his style of teaching but me personally I have not ever had a complaint about him and have always learned so much from his teaching. With that said, I listened intently with great expectation. He didn’t disappoint.

He spoke of a scribe and Jesus and how Jesus was being questioned to test him and the scribe was listening to Jesus’ replies. The first question was about a woman who married and had no children and her husband died and his brother would marry her and on and on she would marry another brother, who would be her husband in heaven? Well Jesus replied that there would be no husband or wife in heaven. The scribe confirmed to Jesus that His answer was correct. The next question delivered to Jesus was asking Him what is the greatest commandment. Jesus stated to love your God with all your heart and soul and to love thy neighbor as you would yourself (paraphrased of course) and again the scribe looked to Jesus and told Him He was correct.

He also added to Jesus that from that commandment that nothing else mattered such as burnt offerings, sin offerings etc. What he meant was that our relationship meant more than the ritualistic actions to God.

Jesus turned to him and said, you are close to the Kingdom of God.

Well my instructor was saying how we are all in some place either on our way to being saved or we are perishing. He stood up and paced back and forth at the front of the room making an example in a physical state of how we can be so close to the Kingdom but still be OUT of the kingdom of God.
At some point, I felt like there was no one around me but me and my instructor…he was that passionate in his body language and his tone. He went on to mention how we think it is us to comes to Jesus but when in reality it is always Jesus who initiates FIRST!

He comes to us first…always. I took a brief moment to look back at some moments in my life and he was right. NO matter how much I have messed up or failed at something God has been running to me for years. To me….nothing special about me….but yet He seeks me FIRST! Think about that…

By the end of his devotion I was crying…in front of friends and total strangers. Because his message was so revealing and eye opening. My LORD seeks me everyday…Oh that I would hear Him and do as He commands and the will He has for my life.

I hope and pray that it is something we all do as God doesn’t desire for any of us to perish.

Be Blessed,

Me

My plate is so busy with:

• Two classes
• Student Teaching
• Being a wife, homemaker
• Being a mother
• Fall/Holiday Activities for next 3 months
• All kinds of deadlines/evaluations/tests

That I am full! But God will get me thru it.

Hurricane Ike has passed thru with such a vengeance and stained our city and surrounding areas. My lights came back on Friday evening. I swear tears came to the front of my eyes and pure joy and the words of Jesus layed on the tip of my tongue. I was so thankful as the past 7 days without power were a blessing but I was ready to have my home running again. As a wife, and mother there is something about your home not running like it normally does that can drive a woman crazy. I will admit I did way better than I thought I would..but I am getting off the path of what I intended to write about.

Two trees from a vacant neighbors home hit the back of my bedroom wall just as I was walking out of it at 3 a.m. in the morning of the Hurricane. I recall looking out of my back door and having zero visibility to see what hit the house. I hurried to my back window and from the bottom of the window to the top was just Pine needles. I was grateful there was no window breakage but with the winds as fierce as they were I didn’t know how long the windows would hold up. I grab my daughter from her sleep and for the next few hours we slept in my bedroom closet.

The winds were something fierce and there was a power within them that was unspeakable. I kept hearing the Pine tree creak and moan and brush against the wall and I prayed for it all to be over soon. My husband being a police officer was out at work and I craved for him to be near us but we managed.

The storm lasted hours upon hours and according to my understanding my part of town was one of the bad parts to be hit. Upon the light of day and just as hubby was getting home (barely as most roads were blocked with trees and flooding canals) we went outside and could see clearly how this tree missed our bedroom by centimeters. God was truly with us that night.

Then began the clock ticking of when lights would be back on. We had running water so that was one less thing to worry about. The radio was powered by batteries and one thing the news kept saying was “weeks without power”. I kept shaking my head and hoped they were wrong. Well for the record we were without power for 7 days. I hear there are others still without and we just pray they get power soon.

Some things that we did in wake of having no lights was clean out the fridge. Lots had to be eaten quickly or discarded all together. We pulled out the pit and bbq’d. We sat outside as God had brought a cool front to our city (because He is an awesome God and knew we would need that for this part of Texas to make it thru) and we would go outside to cool off. Seems my house holds the heat in.

There is something to be said about being without lights…you learn what kind of family you are. Think about it…at any given time in your home multiple things are happening…

For example, I can be in the kitchen (when power is running) cooking, the baby playing in her room, hubby on the computer, my sister taking a shower, dog barking at the neighbor cat…but notice none of us together. Except for dinner, that is a rule we hold as a family…we all stop and sit and eat dinner.
But when the lights went out we learned what kind of family we were….did we snap under the stress? Did we whine, complain, murmur? Did we go off by ourselves?

I found out we came together. Hubby and I played card games and wagered actions like “if I win you do dishes three days in a row” He won’t admit it but I won more than he did…Loved it! We all slept in the same room. We sat and talked and we stayed together. It was really refreshing. I can’t wait to cash in on all my winnings..

Not only did we come together more so than usual but my relationship with Christ has changed. He is truly allowing things to happen to bring us to Him because it is us He wants to be close to.

I hope we take with us these life lessons and now that the power is on we don’t allow that to put a wedge in us in any way.

Go to my flickr.com to see some pics of those days …if you aren’t one of my “friends” in my flickr.com account just send me your email and I will get you on my account.

Be Blessed and once in a while turn off the power,