I became a mother long before I became a foster parent. I am the oldest of five siblings. Well six but that is another story. So for the sake of this journal writing I will include all of them…4 sisters and one brother. The youngest of the group is our baby sister. I mean this sincerely when I say we spoiled and protected her to best of our abilities…with that said she didn’t have to do much. We tried to do it for her. I am also her godmother. She is probably the prettiest and brightest and most talented among us….or that is the mother in me. 
Here in the last year for reasons that had nothing to do with her she had to move in with me about a year ago. Immediately after moving in, my mothering for her kicked in and her and I began a journey of releasing her from the baby grip we all had her on…all of us includes me. We had babied her so much that it was like she was still a teenager in our eyes and we didn’t “raise” her past that stage in life. So I took it upon myself and after talking with her to take her on a journey of bringing her into womanhood.
I say this sincerely some days it hurt me to bring her up in such a short time. I saw fear, tears and sadness in her from time to time as she took this journey and many days I wanted to stop…I wanted to take her in my arms and take care of her all over again but I always stopped myself and in the beginning I had to stop my sisters/brother/mother from babying her as well. I wouldn’t let them see her for a few months because the cycle would have started all over again. And I was barely making it thru the journey myself. When I finally took her to see the family, my sister’s mouths dropped and my mother cried. She was a changed woman and had come into her own. Without giving too much of her business away she has made strides and strides…and now she has her first job…I keep wanting to cry. Her first day of work was so hard for me…I could tell she was nervous and I again had the need to again take her away from it all and just take care of her…but I once again had to refrain. I know she is proud of how far she has come because she took a picture of her office with her phone and sent it to me…. Here it is…
I am proud of her as is my family. We all got on a conference call and just giggle and congratulated her. It is a huge moment for her and our family…Will post picture of her and her first check when she gets it. I enjoy being her mother, she really makes it easy…but these feelings of wanting to make it all better freak me out because I can only imagine how I will be with my daughter when gets older…who knows. I will have to do the hard stuff as I know I can but it will hurt me inside.
Congrats mija on your new path that God has surely put you on. May He bless you and lift you up as you walk with Him. Remember, never forget all of this past year and keep close to you all that He has done for you…it wasn’t us…it was all Him thru us.