That’s What I’m Here For

I started losing love when I was 16 years old. Allow me to explain….I was 16 when I got a call that my favorite cousin had passed from an accidental shooting, he and some friends were playing with a handgun that they thought was unloaded but had one bullet in it. I remember at that very moment standing at his gravesite that I learned life was short and brutal. Deathly brutal. I also remember that I decide to live life like it was taken from me on yesterday. I changed my mentality because some “love” was being buried in front of me on that day.

Boo Boo, was our short mix yellow lab dog we got back in 1991. My father is a collector of things off the road. He is always looking down figuring one day he will find money….he does all the time. I can recall my father stopping on the freeway because he would see something he thought we could use…once he picked up one of those bright orange cones and we played with it for weeks. Well one day he is almost home and he sees a cardboard box in the ditch and of course decides to stop and see if he has found a treasure or not. Inside was one yellow puppy…so he brought him home. After some back and forth with different people who wanted the puppy and didn’t want the puppy, that yellow puppy ended up with my husband. My husband thought since someone dumped him in the ditch maybe they thought he was a ‘boo boo’ so he named him Boo Boo. He and my husband instantly became best friends. They ran and my husband loved to squeeze his cheeks…strange for a dog but that is my husband for you.

Years go by and Boo Boo gets sick at age 7 and we do all we can to save him. I remember the vet saying at the time, this is one strong yet small dog. Boo never weighed more than 36 pounds so he was often mistaken for a puppy or younger in years than he was. But he pulled thru to much amazement of the vet and their staff members. We knew we had a special dog on our hands.  My husband has worked nights most of our marriage and so Boo was my sleeping partner, him and Magic, my cat (I lost her in November of last year. She would sleep on the bed and he would sleep at the foot of the bed) and so I never really had to sleep alone. I always had the noise that pets make…if you are a pet owner you know what I mean, even though they can’t talk they can make noise of all kinds that you are familiar with as their own.  

There was a period of time on two separate occasions where my husband had to go away for the military; it was Boo who became man of the house while he was away. I recall one night having to walk him late because I got home late from work. I was so nervous because at the time we weren’t living in a safe neighborhood so I was walking as fast as I could to get to the grass (we lived in an apt. at the time) and get Boo to do what he had to do and get back inside. A man walked up to us out of no where and started talking to me, well Boo Boo may look small but I was often told he had the bark of a large dog or a pack of dogs. Boo gets to barking and going after the guy that I never really had to worry about my safety from that night on…the man walked off immediately. Boo would have given his life for me…I know that without a doubt…he would have died for his family.  
I remember talking to him as he got older and I made him a promise. I would get him a backyard, one day he would be able to walk around freely without a leash. That promise came true two years ago when we got our first home. The picture is of Boo basting in the sun; this was his favorite thing to do in his last years here. He would squint his eyes, lift his head to the sun and rest. I remember when we first let him go in the backyard, he took off immediately and I cried…because I gave him what I had wanted to give him for all the years he served me. I had to give back to him. We retired Boo Boo from security duty because he barked so much in his years he had no bark left in him and we got a German Shepherd to take on that role. So Boo was retired, basting in the sun and sleeping the last two years of his life. I know he gave me more than I ever gave him.  
In the end I was selfish, I was not ready to let him go and it was husband who had the strength to get us to let him go. He began having seizures April 12 and they never really stopped and we had to put him down April 13. I don’t know how to go on without my sleeping buddy. He would wake up a couple hours before my alarm would go off and he would walk around in the bathroom which has tile, and I could always hear his feet hit the ground and knew he was up pacing to go out. I already miss hearing his feet go clickty clack.  
Dear Boo,
Your daddy misses you already. He keeps saying your name when you aren’t here and I can tell he is in pain and is thinking about you. Me, well I just want to pull your ears again and pat your belly. I want to hear you rubbing all over the carpet trying to get that itch on your back. I want to see you basting in the sun one more time. I said it all weekend… You were the best dog in the whole world! I love you and miss you dearly. Be good, take care of Magic and keep her out of trouble, you know she thought she ran stuff.  

Your mommy forever!