My Husband and Daughter
I have a plethora of problems that I acquired during my early childhood and onward to adulthood. One day my husband came along. He just walked right in and shook things up for me that I still feel those ripples of waves every time I am near him. I was but nineteen and was not prepared for them but it was such an inner desire to be with him that I fooled myself I could be good to him.
So like I said I have problems…all kinds. I went to try and get help for them after I destroyed my marriage. I got better but knew I still had so much work to do to be the best that God intended to me to be. It was challenging, heart wrenching and painful to cleanse my spirit of all that gunk. There are remnants of it left in me. I can feel it. It scares me and sometimes it reveals itself and lashes out at my husband. The best man I have ever met in my life. I am taking some new steps in the last couple of days to rectify this residue in me. I want it out and gone and I want to REPLACE it with the fruit of the spirit from God. Only He can get me thru this new journey.
You see, I want to be the best I can be to this man who has been thru all things with me. I can look at him and look into his eyes and wow, I am blown away at the love I see in those eyes that he solely has for me. BLOWN away every time! A moment does not go by I am not amazed at how much he gives of himself for me.
I am sitting and babbling on this software program because a song came on my MP3 player that had me crying and thinking of him. It is “You are not Alone” by Michael Jackson. While Michael gets a bad rep, this song reminds me of the approach my husband has towards me….he has stood by me thru so much and I always feel so safe and cared for just leaning against him. When he hugs me in the morning, it takes a great will to let him go and go to work. I rest my cheek against his neck and whisper “I love you” He always whispers it back to me. I swear sometimes we hold each other a little tighter as the years go by. Our time is short on Earth…so GRAB it and don’t let the small things get between you.
I commute from work and home. I often for whatever reason, think of him and cry. I longed for love so long in my life and it stares at me every morning, it grabs me and kisses me, it laughs when I make silly jokes, it cuddles with me while we watch a movie in bed, it snores in my ears as we sleep, it cooks and cleans so I can study for my class, it dances with me and our daughter even though it has no dance moves that anyone should ever see in public, it wants to be with me….my husband is a picture of LOVE. Here at this age, I have seen LOVE, I have held it, I have cried next to it during hard times, I have gone thru the adoption process and all of those stresses with it along my side. I have snuggled for hours and talked on and on about nothing and Love nodded back at me even though it was no interest to him. Love embraces me and thinks I am great.
Thank you huney for finding me that day in that long list of people and for stepping out in faith to grab me up! I can never repay you back for the LOVE that you have given me…that Love has healed me in so many ways. That Love sends goose bumps down my spine and puts a smile on my face. That Love has given me hope. I think that is the picture God intended for marriage that He intended for His relationship with His children. That Love is why I try to be a better person.
You will never be alone huney.
I can’t say it enough. I love you LOVE!
My Husband and Daughter