That’s What I’m Here For

I feel like I am in a boxing ring, no audience, no tickets bought, just me and Satan. The stadium is eerily quiet with debris left from a previous fight. Paper wrappers fly about. Ticket stubs litter the isles. Were they victorious? Is their battle still going on? I wasn’t announced or asked if I wanted this fight, I just appeared in the ring. I don’t even feel like I am in the fight. It seems like we are at round 20 and I am worn down. I don’t have the energy to lift my gloves. I am taking blows and not even defending myself.

My head is bowed down and my eyes look to the mat. Maybe if I just fall down and hear the count of ten it will be over. But something in me, every once in awhile says, stand up. Fight. Go on. Try again to overcome. I am in many, many rounds of this battle. Only here in the last couple of months, I have wanted out of the pit. The boxing ring is the ring that I cling to. The walls of my pit are high and wide, it is now that I am looking up to climb out. I had such aspirations that I would just be able to climb and remove myself. Not so. I have a journey to go thru and a battle that must be fought.

I raise my head and look straight on at Satan. But he knows he has me down. He has me stuck right where I stand. He sees my feet don’t flinch or waver, they are indeed sealed to the ground. I did it myself….put myself in this pit, this ring, this battle. It seemed so safe and appeared like I would be able to leave it at any time I wanted to…another lie from the enemy. I fell for it. I believed the lie so sincerely to be truth but it was a false one. Now I am stuck. Cement blocks weigh my feet down and I am so use to them that they now appear just to be regular shoes on my feet. I don’t even seem to care enough to want to remove them…in fact I kind of like them on my feet and look for them at any moment it crosses my mind.

My problem is I never got ready for a battle because I didn’t know I was getting myself in one at the time.
Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV)
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

is like watching a tornado from afar. You can see it in the distance as it appeared out of no where. You can’t stop looking at it. You can sense the power of it and the violent winds it holds. You know it is dangerous and takes life in its path with no rhyme or reason. It has no face, no identity as everyone sees it differently. You want to get closer to it but are aware of the dangers yet you can’t stop looking at it. You are in awe of the power behind it and how it moves towards you. You know you should get out of the way and not get in the unsafe zone of the winds. You tell yourself, just a little longer, I will watch it. You feel you are safe enough away from it. That you have placed a shield of shelter around you to protect you from it. You just want to get a little bit closer to it. Not much, just a little more. You take that step and hear it in your mind, don’t move. It is dangerous if you proceed. Too late, you moved and the winds grip on your body and soul and take you on the ride. It’s a mix of emotions, the pleasures, fears, doubts, and the notion you have fallen. You land, scarred and drained with the mind to never get near it again. If I just never see one again, I will make it. But that is tornadoes for you; they pop up anywhere, anytime, when you are not even expecting it.
There out of the corner you see the tornado appearing more beautiful than the last time, much more power in it. You turn and you look at it, and you beg yourself based on your past experience with it that no good can come from looking at the tornado. But wow! There is something about it. You just want to take a quick peek and nothing more. But it is more powerful than the last time and it sweeps you up quicker than before. Once again you land on the ground more torn up..more..more battered…more weakened by the event that you are afraid you won’t ever be able to resist looking at the tornado.
It has you hooked to where now you seek it out instead of waiting for it to come after you. The roles are reversed and you are now in the pit of that sin.

James 1:13-15
13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.